five-minute homemade mayonnaise

10:05:00 AM

Like many things we made this summer, this was the result of having lots of tomatoes. We are two people who both like tomatoes a moderate amount - not enough to eat them by themselves, but love them in a nice caprese salad or, of course, a BLT. We make the best BLTs because we use uncured Nueske’s Bacon which is pure amazing, our delicious fresh CSA tomatoes, bread baked fresh from Madison Sourdough Company, and this mayo.


It started because Bob said something to the effect of “Egh, I don’t want that fake light stuff” (referring to the Hellmann’s 35-calorie light mayo I used to stock in the fridge.) “Fine, I’ll Google how to make homemade mayo.”

I was under the impression that to make really good mayonnaise at home, it required painstakingly boring non-stop whisking and a very, very, very slow drizzle of oil. So this is what I did. And then Bob got up to help, because I was whining about how long it was taking and how much my arm hurt. And like half a century later, it was emulsified and beautiful and I was so excited. We were taking turns whisking and drizzling ‘cause, you know, POWER COUPLE. And then…  the mayonnaise broke. It got thinner and thinner and we lost our beautiful emulsification. Bob gave up in annoyance because he’d been helping me whisk for a serious half hour at that point, and we don’t even own a good whisk. Annnnd we both just wanted a damn BLT. I tried to save it. Ten minutes later, I’d dirtied the food processor AND blender in an attempt to rescue it. Then I watched some YouTube videos on how to save a broken mayonnaise. It involved, basically, starting over. Cracking a new egg in the bowl and adding your broken mayonnaise, drop by drop. Oh my god. 

BUT I SAVED IT, is the point. “I’m GOING TO SAVE THIS MAYONNAISE,” I told Bob, and he was like, yeah, okay, whatever, I just want a sandwich. 

So I did. I added it drop by drop back to another egg, whisked again. And an hour and a half after I started making mayonnaise, I had it. It was lovely. We had great BLTs.

Okay, so, getting to the point here: this is why this simple, five-minute mayonnaise made me extremely angry the first time I made it. Because I believed the lie for so long about the whisking. The people who use eyedroppers to add the oil so slowly so that it doesn’t break. 

FRIENDS. DO NOT DO THIS. 

Take your blender. Add some food. You will have mayonnaise in 30 seconds and it will be delicious. It will be free of weird additives, sugar, preservatives, and you control the salt and the flavor. It won’t have that “fake light stuff” flavor. Yeah, it has more fat and calories. But you can use it lightly and get lots of rich, delicious flavor. You can add roasted garlic (please do!) or raw garlic or mustard or chipotle chiles or sriracha. Make a aioli. Make a sandwich. Make a creamy salad dressing. Make a dip. Eat it with a spoon. (That’s pretty gross, but you do you.)

You can use other types of oil, but keep in mind that mayonnaise is basically just oil. So it will taste EXACTLY like whatever oil you use. If you like spreading olive oil on your bread, go for it. 


Five Minute Homemade Mayonnaise
makes 1 cup

ingredients
1 egg
1 cup canola oil, divided
½ tbsp lemon juice 
¾ tsp salt (adjust to taste)
pepper (optional)
a couple drops of mustard (optional)

To a blender, add ¼ cup of the oil and the rest of the ingredients. Blend for a few seconds, then slowly add the remaining oil through the opening at the top of the blender while the blender is running (it helps to partially cover the hole with your hand because it will splatter.) Blend until desired consistency is reached. 




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